What is the definition of family? The Merriam-Webster definition is “a group of people who come from the same ancestor.” But that leaves out spouses and step-children.
Wikipedia expands the definition to people who “share their money and food and are supposed to take care of one another. Its members are genetically related or legally bound to each other.”
A college student might share a dorm or apartment with fellow students. Does that mean they’re a family? Maybe or maybe not.
So, what makes a family a family? To me, family are people experiencing life together. They don’t have to live with me or be related to me. There’s a magical spark connecting us. A drive to nurture and protect. People with whom I can be myself, open, and raw, even when I feel afraid to expose those emotions. With family, I don’t need a persona image.
What I mean by persona image is giving people around you the responses, reactions, and conversations they expect in a given a circumstance. Whatever doesn’t fit the persona I edit out. For instance, at work, I’m manager-Deborah. I’m expected to dress, react, and speak professionally. Manager-Deborah would never swear nor roll her eyes.
Using a persona image doesn’t mean I’m not authentic. It means everything runs through a filter before being expressed to the outside world. In a class or webinar, I’m student-Deborah. Out in public I’m customer-Deborah or polite-stranger-Deborah. I wouldn’t run up to a total stranger and blurt out my deep feelings. Sure, my young grandson needs grandma-Deborah, and my daughters will always see glimpses of mom-Deborah, no matter how old they are.
Peeling back the layers of personas I’ve created over the years is scary. After all, they define me. Without them, who am I? That’s a tough question and I’m working out the answer.
My family is my anchor that lets me dive into the depths of my thoughts, emotions, and morals. They listen to what I have to say. I happily give them the same support and love. We give each other a safe place to rest and rejuvenate ourselves.
With family, I can relax. I don’t have to edit my thoughts. Reactions, moods, and words flow naturally.
To my family, I love you dearly. My world is a better place having you in my life.
To my wonderful readers, I wish you and your precious families a safe and happy holiday.
