My friends are people with whom I share common beliefs and values. They are people I trust and enjoy being around. They light a special spark in me whenever we spend time together. We have a synergy that magically transforms us both into better people. They comfort me like a warm blanket on a cold winter’s night.
A friend could be someone you bond with over a shared activity, TV show, school, or work. Personally, I stay away from building friendships at work. For me, I’ve found career and friendship journeys sometimes end up in a messy head-on collision. That’s all I’ll say about that. However, let me stress that many of my co-workers are smart, wonderful people who work hard. They have my admiration and respect. I’ve found I have a pattern when finding friends. I gravitate to people with shared activities.
I’m grateful for the beautiful souls who I’ve had the honor of calling my friends. While some of those friends have drifted away, every one of them influenced me a positive way.
In Catholic elementary school, I hung out with a close group of five friends. We’d cluster together before school, sit as close together as we could during school, swap lunch items, and wear ourselves out on the playground during recess. Although we weren’t the ‘cool’ kids, we had each other, and that’s what mattered.
When my parents moved me to public school in the sixth grade, I was crestfallen to see those friendships quickly fade. I felt lonely and afraid in this new world. Sure, there were kids in the neighborhood that went to the same school, but they had already formed their close-knit clicks and they didn’t welcome a shy girl with open arms.
Around this time, I fell in love with artistic rollerskating. After one public session, I begged my mom to sign me up for private lessons. I joined the competition club and proudly donned the team uniform that made me a part of the group.
Suddenly, I had friends of all ages, grade school through adult. We bonded around the hard work of practice. We cheered each other on at competitions. As the years went by, my friends taught me sportsmanship and boosted my confidence. My mom told me she couldn’t believe her shy little girl had to courage to perform in front of an audience.
When my beloved coach left the sport, I also said goodbye to the skating world. I felt that same loneliness I had felt way back in middle school.
This time, I knew what to do. Yep, join another sport! Off I went to Tae Kwon Do. Another clan and another group of friends. These friends taught me how to be fearless and how to work past the pain. We sparred with one another and pushed each other to stretch just a micro inch farther. When I moved to Florida, I regrettably said goodbye to my kick-butt friends. But I looked forward to a new adventure in the sunshine state.
When I first arrived in Florida, I ended up trying several activities in search of a new group of friends. I signed up for juggling, bowling leagues, and aerobic classes. But I couldn’t find a group I really clicked with. So, I sought artistic rollerskating clubs and spent another decade with eight little wheels under my feet. Only this time, my daughter was there beside me. Being a parent of a roller skater added an amazing new dimension to the experience.
Altogether, I stayed connected to rollerskating for about thirty years. First as a competitor, then judge, and finally as a coach. I don’t regret a single day of the experience.
When my daughter started college and hung up her skates, I left the sport at the same time. Without her there, it just wasn’t the same.
This time, it didn’t take long to find my new friendship clan. After one belly dancing class, I was hooked. The costumes, makeup, and hairdos alone made me feel like a superstar. But the people, they are a special breed. Under their loving care, I learned about truly supportive teamwork. Especially in the improvisational dancing. There is no choreography. Leaders cue dance moves at random to the rest of the troupe. And the leader role rotates through the troupe members several times during a performance.
For the first time, I wasn’t in a competitive sport, but a performance troupe. Where in rollerskating and Tae Kwon Do, judges scrutinize every move, in belly dancing, it’s all about the entertainment value. These lovely ladies and gentlemen taught me to be OK with making mistakes, that hard work and laughing make a perfect mix, photoshoots are a blast, and you can never wear too many overskirts!
My current friendship clan is my husband and daughters. Truthfully, I’m struggling to get back out into the world after being closed in for COVID. I’m not lonely or frightened, but content and happy with the pace of life. Maybe that comes with age. One day, I may find that new friendship clan, but for now, I’m perfectly satisfied with my loving family.
